Monday Less-of-a-Dissapointment

Well I have to say my expectations were crushed. I had invited him over, and he said I'll be there after work we'll cook together... I thought that was a bold promise, knowing it wouldn't hold...

It was noonish when he first texted me to ask if he could come a little bit later. I wasn't surprised at all, to be honest. he said his ex, who is still his friend needed to do laundry because he had no cash and was wearing dirty clothes, so he offered his place up to him. He wanted to come right before Ugly Betty at 7. I said sure.

I'm a good guy, it should be known that I really think I go above and beyond. This shows often, but most in this particular case, when i heard his friend was jobless, cashless, and needed a place to do laundry i figured he needed a place to eat as well, so I invited him along. Thankfully, honestly, he declined the offer.

So the next set of text messages came at 6:00 when he asked if I wanted to go to his house to cook because his friend had just gotten there. I had the perfect excuse, though its at all untrue, he just got a new cat and I can't be in a house with a cat. So I told him that, and that i knew i had everything i needed at home and might not have it all at his place. He said he's be a little late then, but he'd kick "X" out soon and come over early as he could.

This was when I realized I was eating alone. That's OK, I was ready to be done with it anyway. But I figured that's the way its going to be, and I'll cope with it.

So I figure I'll wait to eat until Ugly Betty is over, on the off chance he shows up, but also because by the time I was done cooking it was on and I didn't want to miss it making and assembling my plate (red enchiladas, because as my loyal readers know, red chile is a therapeutic cooking exercise for me)

Then, Ugly Betty is half over, and I'm pretty convinced that he's not coming when he calls, to say he's on his way and should be pick anything up on the way. . . *jaw drops* ( I should have said cigarettes, but I forgot)

My heart leapt when he walked in. I'm so not over him. I can't figure it out, I think I really need to step back an analyze the things that Database and I recently talked about...
(Database is an old friend, who i recently worked with in an office for a few months, and is both a database genius, but also a wealth of knowledge about life and situations, and emotions... My girls know him...)

We talked about me figuring out how to stop viewing my single-ness as a failure of mine, but rather a series circumstantial things, and a series of men who don't know what they have...

I have to get my mind wrapped around it like that...I am just not sure how. Its easy to say, not to do...

We watched Ugly Betty and Grey's, ate our dinner, had a glass of wine, and chatted, we even cuddled. It was nice. He agreed we should do this weekly, watch these shows together, dinner when possible. It was a sweet thought, but I figured he wasn't serious...

Then when he left he took out his Missouri ID, that B girl stole from right before leaving, and set it on the desk.

"I'll leave this here, so you know I'm coming back" he said.

so here I am, ready for bed, listening to Reba Duets online, waiting patiently for the CD to arrive in my mailbox.

So Maybe I will go to bed alone, maybe I will grip my pillow and wish I wasn't alone.

Maybe I will wake up alone, and try to figure out why.

But for now, at least I know Thursdays are better than Mondays---because he's a little more reliable on Thursdays apparently...