24 hours

In 24 hours I will be landing at Dallas Airport, ending the first leg of the flight to D.C.

What an amazing rush of feelings I’m experiencing right now at this moment.

The excitement I have for a trip to a city I love, and the fear I have about what I will face when I arrive. 

The joy of spending a week with one of my best friends ever, sealing a bond that has grown rapidly in the past few months, getting to know each other so much more and seeing what wonderful things we will enjoy together. 

The experience of witnessing, participating in and processing the Quilt, something I’ve wanted to see since I was a teenager. The sheer number of names and picture and personal items; toys and records and clothing that was dear to so many people who succumbed to this plague.

There is happiness flowing through me at the thought of seeing Brian, Colin, Karl, Jose, Danielle and Patsy and Anathea and Joaquin and so many others that I have missed!

There is anxiousness about meeting new advocates, and activist and doctors and nurses.

There is worry about participating in the ACT UP rally and the possibilities of that action, since there were 11 people arrested this morning for AIDS activism!

The feeling that is overwhelming through all of this is the gratitude that I have. For the friends who came to help me raise the money for this trip. The family that supported me in making this trip a reality and are taking care of me along the way.  I feel so incredibly loved. I have received messages from acquaintances and dear friends, lovers and “bar-buddies”(people I only see at the club really) all expressing excitement and well wishes for this trip. 

I know it sounds like I’m moving across the country, and I’m not sure if that’s far from the truth in the near future. But what I know now, is that this is the trip of a lifetime for me.

A friend went on his “trip of a lifetime” a couple years ago, and told me all about it. He clearly loved it.  His boss took him on a cruise for like ten days, through The Mediterranean.  I know he enjoyed it; I have no doubt that it was the trip of a lifetime for him. And I’m glad he got to make it.  (This is leading up to something I promise)

The fact of the matter, for me, is that I’m a nerd. 100% I always have been.  My dream vacations are occasionally a week on a beach with liquor and books. A few hot guys would help.  I enjoy camping for a day or so (not too long without a shower. ) every now and then.  But this trip is something different.  The history, and the power, the memories and the hope. The struggle of so many brothers and sisters that I never got to meet, got to know, the fire their families and friends carry with them today.  This trip is truly the trip of a lifetime for me.  An opportunity to carry with me the love and spirit of so many friends and family members in Albuquerque who can’t go with me, and to bring back to them photos, and stories and so much greatness. 

It is times like this that remind I am finally pursuing my true calling in life.  I can’t recall the last time I was this excited about any one thing.  No man, no friend, no movie or dinner or drag show or Election Day has had me as ramped up as this does.

I hope I am making my friends and family proud, knowing that I am embarking on what is bound to be a turning point for my life, as well as a tie in history where we will turn a corner on HIV/AIDS!

I hope you, my friends and family will check in periodically on my blog, on facebook on twitter.  I plan to share lots of pictures, short blurbs about what is going on, and take a few moments to write more thoughtful longer blogs about what the experience is like.  Please share this with me, and if you don’t do so every day, take a little time this day to send some loving energy to those in the afterlife who has have passed, and those living here fighting the fight, winning the struggle or losing it, they need our love! They are, after all, our Sisters and Brothers, our family.