Shared Birthdays, and so much more...

I always think most of my Mother on my birthday.  Partially because she was really responsible for making such a day happen, but it’s more than that with me.  I have had the pleasure, the joy and the excitement of celebrating 29 of them with my mom, as it is her birthday as well.  My mother is the most influential and amazing person in my lie.  (This honor is closely followed by my baby sister, Cheyenne – but she’ll get her attention on here in a couple months…)

My mother has not lived an easy life, by any stretch of the imagination.  And though every mother faces struggles, and all women are to be applauded for the efforts at child-raising, I have experience with this one.

My mother, I have no doubt, had dreams as a young person.  I have learned, in my own ways, that my passion for writing probably came from her, she was quite the writer when she was younger. My love of reading, and skill at reading quickly and adeptly, definitely came from her.
When I was a child my mother struggled as a single mom on a few occasions.  My mom never allowed me or my life to suffer, no matter how little she had monetarily.  I know people all over who have stories about the sacrifices their parents made to create a healthy happy life for their children.  But I know for a fact that My mother hurt deeply over the sacrifices that she thought weren’t enough.  Be it the Mother-Son connection, the shared birthday or the fact that we were just always close, but I was always able to see the secret pain hidden away in my mom’s eyes when she felt she hadn’t given me enough.

There are a thousand reasons that my mom struggled so much, but I’d rather not dwell on the negative aspects of my childhood and life, rather the amazingness that is my Mom. 

The thing about being so close to one of your parents, is that when you fight you do so fiercely.   My mom and I never had small arguments, even if they started that way they always ended with some of the worst screaming matches in recorded history.  I remember one particular day when my uncle and other family members upset me, and I spoke my mind and my mom and I later fought about it.  It was a fierce fight, and it ended badly. The result was that we didn’t speak for roughly 3 months.  I let her know occasionally via text that I was ok, or we communicated important news through my Grandmother.  But we never caught up.
Looking back on all the things I’ve done and haven’t’ done in my life, that 3 months was the most regrettable of my life.  I cry every time I think of what might have been the case if anything had happened to my mom since then.

There are a thousand more happy memories than negative ones in our lives together.  Days spent shopping, dinners cooked together.  Nights she nursed me, even as a teenager because I have never been good at being sick (I whine a lot)  And firm punishment (usually quickly stepped down a notch) because I never did my chores….
I recall the day she found out I have been forging signatures on my report cards, changing my grades so  I wouldn’t get in trouble for my laziness, and how her punishment for that was the most evil effective punishment ever devised.  I remember the very very short amount of time it took her to handle the fact that I’m gay, and how quickly she reminded me of the love she has always had and will always have for me.  The welcoming attitude she has had toward all of the men I have attempted to develop long relationships with.  Even the ones she knew weren’t right for me, she always allowed me to try anyway.

I am sure I can go on for days and days about the amazing things My mother has done for me, and her entire family. 

But the most important thing I have to say is that I can’t imagine being anything without my mother.  She is my rock, she is my best friend, she is my mentor and healer, my comfort and protector. My mother is everything to me, and on this-our shared birthday- and every day I thank god above for the blessing that is the most amazing Mother in the World.

I was once told I do not tell her often enough how proud I am of her; she always did so for me.  But I will never make that mistake again. I am proud of my mom for taking care of her health recently, and succeeding as a major goal physically! I am proud of my mom for handling not one, but two teenagers now, presenting different issues and stressors, and not murdering either one of us (though I know she’s come close with us both). I’m proud of my mom for holding together a family with tenuous relationships at times. For always being a fierce Lioness when her children are in trouble, and a loving caring mom when they are hurting. I am proud of her for teaching her children to be such amazing individuals.

I am proud of my mom for a thousand and one reasons.

I love you Mama so so so much and Happy birthday to you, thank you for being you always!!!!