Wallflowers, Beginnings, and Personal/Political connections
Acknowledgements:
Lea Kim (If you are out there, find me!!!)
Stephen Edward Savage Estrada (Look for this name on a movie screen someday)
So, I have to give acknowledgments where they were due. I began to read this book a few days ago, (I'll get to that in a minute...) and these are the two individuals responsible for me embarking on this journey. It really was a journey, into the future, into my life, and especially into my past. I realize at this point that my blog about political issues and identity oriented politics is actually becoming more and more personal. To that I say The personal and the political are inseparable.
It it something I don't think I've mentioned before, and I think now is a good time to bring it up... For those of you who don't know me all that well, I have a history few are familiar with in my current life. I began my life as a political/social activist at age 12. I didn't know it then, but that's what I was doing.
I was walking through the Otero County Fair (I know, this is the redneck in me, and I'm proud of that too) on a random afternoon, in the information booths section chatting it up and getting free stuff. I happened across a booth that said AAAA Alamogordo Area AIDS Awareness. I thought, wow, that's interesting so went to talk to the very nice lady. (Cindy Couch was her name and I would grow to be very fond of her through the years. She asked if I was interested in a training on how to protect myself from HIV/AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases, adding that after the training I would be given an opportunity to teach other people about the issue. An Activist is born. Yes, I said, I'm pretty much not doing anything with my free time, why not.
After Attending one training Where Michael Murphy, a man who also became a close personal friend and mentor, taught us all about it, I seemed to be the one who got it. He asked me if I wanted to come back. I soon became the defacto Chair of a loosely organized group of Peer Educators. Our goal was to train as many young people about Sexual Health as possible, and have them telling their friends accurate information to counter the misinformation distributed even then by schools and health officials about Sexuality. (yes this was the mid 90s, and yes Clinton was in office, and Yes I lived in a backwards community in many ways.)
I was there for my 7th, 8th grade years, and the program changed. We started to do more training, and programs. We ventured into Suicide prevention, Sexual assault and abuse counseling or rather "listening," and we did Pregnancy prevention. We later my 9th grade year began to do outreach on Alcohol Abuse and Drug Abuse problems as well.
I had a revelation my sophomore year. People were killing themselves in my High School and our suicide prevention program wasn't working enough. We were letting people slip through the cracks, and we found that we weren't necessarily dealing with typical suicide cases. These were not students who were seriously depressed and suicidal for long periods of time. These kids were killing themselves because of the stress of High School life, and ONE event pushed them over the edge enough to commit or attempt to commit suicide. This wasn't ok and I felt we needed to do something about it.
I helped develop a new program, PEER LISTENERS was revolutionary in its approach to the problem. We didn't have counselors, and often times teenagers don't' want to talk to counselors or therapists. So we trained our listeners in all of the areas we had training for: (Youth Organizing, Active Listening, Drug and Alcohol Abuse, Sexual Assault/Abuse, Suicide Prevention, Pregnancy Prevention, Healthy Sexual Behavior{I'll say now this was incredibly progressive including safe healthy S&M relationships}, STDs Prevention, and much more.)
Then we said these listeners would be available for anything and anyone who needed them. Just to talk, no counselors, or commitment, just come in and chat. Coffee maker, Sodas, Snacks, Furniture and music. We did it all. It was a fantastic program and we had a successful record. By the time I graduated in 2001 we had a reputation for being a great place for folks to hang out, decompress. Sometimes you need to talk to someone about how you are treated at home because your family knows your gay and won't talk about it. But sometimes you just had a bad day that started with your little sister throwing your favorite sweater in the dryer and it ruined everything from then on. These were not superficial, or shallow problems to deal with, they were real and in the moment.
My mother used to respond to me talking about stress levels by saying "You don't know stress at your age, wait until you have bills, and work, and taxes, and groceries and a family and all of these things. That's stress. " I would respond, "Well, when I'm 40 I'll have those things and they will challenge and stress me out indeed. But right now I'm 15, and at 15 I have major stress over the little things. You outgrew them because you matured an learned how to cope, young people haven't figured that out yet." It was exactly what I see today.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
This is the book that inspired this line of thought. I gave acknowledgements at the beginning I'll explain them now.
Lea Kim gave me this book for graduation from High School. She was a friend of mine since 8th grade, someone who always knew what I was going through, and despite my always feeling like she was a little weird, I fell in love with her spirit. We shared many things, and when she gave me the book it was inscribed in the beginning. "To Marshall, With Love, LK."
Well because I had never read it before I never knew there was an inscription in the end of it as well. As if reading the book wasn't enough crying, What Lea wrote brought back the everything's of high school and my young life that I honestly hadn't gotten over, but rather chose to forget.
Stephen ESE AS mentioned above (to give him full credit for his name) Is my most recent ex in case you didn't know. (By the way I'm fully recovered to thinking of him only as a friend, a friend I love dearly, but a friend and nothing more.) Stephen told me a while back, when we were dating that this was his favorite book. And I was reminded that it was on my shelf, and I had never read it. So This week, in an attempt to red and relax and not think about having been broken up with, I picked up the first book I could find on my shelf that I had not read and was not the autobiography of a political player. The Perks of Being A Wallflower was that book.
This connected, among other things, to the original issues that made me an activist. Something that is dear within my heart always. A Woman's Right to Choose is in peril, and I'll work actively to save it. GLBT Americans don't have equal status under the law, and that should change. We are plundering the Environment and we have to stop for our kids' sakes. We ought to be looking for peaceful solutions not screwing up a war overseas for a vendetta and oil. But above and beyond all other things, we need to be taking care of our youth. Give them what they need to survive, and that's not just education, jobs, and healthcare. We need to be working every day to make sure young people have a person to talk to, a person then can trust. Young people need friends and family, to be there for them. WE have to stop the suicide problem among American youth, we have to stop the drug abuse problem among American youth. These problems are not stopped with punishment and stricter laws, they are solved by looking at the reason young people do these things. Coping mechanisms is what they are, and we need to give them better ones.
LOVE
Read this book if you haven't. Read and process, and do something!!!
Thanks Lea and Stephen I love you both!
To Be continued...
Lea Kim (If you are out there, find me!!!)
Stephen Edward Savage Estrada (Look for this name on a movie screen someday)
So, I have to give acknowledgments where they were due. I began to read this book a few days ago, (I'll get to that in a minute...) and these are the two individuals responsible for me embarking on this journey. It really was a journey, into the future, into my life, and especially into my past. I realize at this point that my blog about political issues and identity oriented politics is actually becoming more and more personal. To that I say The personal and the political are inseparable.
It it something I don't think I've mentioned before, and I think now is a good time to bring it up... For those of you who don't know me all that well, I have a history few are familiar with in my current life. I began my life as a political/social activist at age 12. I didn't know it then, but that's what I was doing.
I was walking through the Otero County Fair (I know, this is the redneck in me, and I'm proud of that too) on a random afternoon, in the information booths section chatting it up and getting free stuff. I happened across a booth that said AAAA Alamogordo Area AIDS Awareness. I thought, wow, that's interesting so went to talk to the very nice lady. (Cindy Couch was her name and I would grow to be very fond of her through the years. She asked if I was interested in a training on how to protect myself from HIV/AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases, adding that after the training I would be given an opportunity to teach other people about the issue. An Activist is born. Yes, I said, I'm pretty much not doing anything with my free time, why not.
After Attending one training Where Michael Murphy, a man who also became a close personal friend and mentor, taught us all about it, I seemed to be the one who got it. He asked me if I wanted to come back. I soon became the defacto Chair of a loosely organized group of Peer Educators. Our goal was to train as many young people about Sexual Health as possible, and have them telling their friends accurate information to counter the misinformation distributed even then by schools and health officials about Sexuality. (yes this was the mid 90s, and yes Clinton was in office, and Yes I lived in a backwards community in many ways.)
I was there for my 7th, 8th grade years, and the program changed. We started to do more training, and programs. We ventured into Suicide prevention, Sexual assault and abuse counseling or rather "listening," and we did Pregnancy prevention. We later my 9th grade year began to do outreach on Alcohol Abuse and Drug Abuse problems as well.
I had a revelation my sophomore year. People were killing themselves in my High School and our suicide prevention program wasn't working enough. We were letting people slip through the cracks, and we found that we weren't necessarily dealing with typical suicide cases. These were not students who were seriously depressed and suicidal for long periods of time. These kids were killing themselves because of the stress of High School life, and ONE event pushed them over the edge enough to commit or attempt to commit suicide. This wasn't ok and I felt we needed to do something about it.
I helped develop a new program, PEER LISTENERS was revolutionary in its approach to the problem. We didn't have counselors, and often times teenagers don't' want to talk to counselors or therapists. So we trained our listeners in all of the areas we had training for: (Youth Organizing, Active Listening, Drug and Alcohol Abuse, Sexual Assault/Abuse, Suicide Prevention, Pregnancy Prevention, Healthy Sexual Behavior{I'll say now this was incredibly progressive including safe healthy S&M relationships}, STDs Prevention, and much more.)
Then we said these listeners would be available for anything and anyone who needed them. Just to talk, no counselors, or commitment, just come in and chat. Coffee maker, Sodas, Snacks, Furniture and music. We did it all. It was a fantastic program and we had a successful record. By the time I graduated in 2001 we had a reputation for being a great place for folks to hang out, decompress. Sometimes you need to talk to someone about how you are treated at home because your family knows your gay and won't talk about it. But sometimes you just had a bad day that started with your little sister throwing your favorite sweater in the dryer and it ruined everything from then on. These were not superficial, or shallow problems to deal with, they were real and in the moment.
My mother used to respond to me talking about stress levels by saying "You don't know stress at your age, wait until you have bills, and work, and taxes, and groceries and a family and all of these things. That's stress. " I would respond, "Well, when I'm 40 I'll have those things and they will challenge and stress me out indeed. But right now I'm 15, and at 15 I have major stress over the little things. You outgrew them because you matured an learned how to cope, young people haven't figured that out yet." It was exactly what I see today.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
This is the book that inspired this line of thought. I gave acknowledgements at the beginning I'll explain them now.
Lea Kim gave me this book for graduation from High School. She was a friend of mine since 8th grade, someone who always knew what I was going through, and despite my always feeling like she was a little weird, I fell in love with her spirit. We shared many things, and when she gave me the book it was inscribed in the beginning. "To Marshall, With Love, LK."
Well because I had never read it before I never knew there was an inscription in the end of it as well. As if reading the book wasn't enough crying, What Lea wrote brought back the everything's of high school and my young life that I honestly hadn't gotten over, but rather chose to forget.
Stephen ESE AS mentioned above (to give him full credit for his name) Is my most recent ex in case you didn't know. (By the way I'm fully recovered to thinking of him only as a friend, a friend I love dearly, but a friend and nothing more.) Stephen told me a while back, when we were dating that this was his favorite book. And I was reminded that it was on my shelf, and I had never read it. So This week, in an attempt to red and relax and not think about having been broken up with, I picked up the first book I could find on my shelf that I had not read and was not the autobiography of a political player. The Perks of Being A Wallflower was that book.
This connected, among other things, to the original issues that made me an activist. Something that is dear within my heart always. A Woman's Right to Choose is in peril, and I'll work actively to save it. GLBT Americans don't have equal status under the law, and that should change. We are plundering the Environment and we have to stop for our kids' sakes. We ought to be looking for peaceful solutions not screwing up a war overseas for a vendetta and oil. But above and beyond all other things, we need to be taking care of our youth. Give them what they need to survive, and that's not just education, jobs, and healthcare. We need to be working every day to make sure young people have a person to talk to, a person then can trust. Young people need friends and family, to be there for them. WE have to stop the suicide problem among American youth, we have to stop the drug abuse problem among American youth. These problems are not stopped with punishment and stricter laws, they are solved by looking at the reason young people do these things. Coping mechanisms is what they are, and we need to give them better ones.
LOVE
Read this book if you haven't. Read and process, and do something!!!
Thanks Lea and Stephen I love you both!
To Be continued...
posted by Marshall at 10:10 AM
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